😬 The Perfection Problem Nobody's Talking About

You know that feeling when you're scrolling Instagram and you see another perfectly polished post with flawless tips, beautiful designs, and that untouchable expert energy? And you just keep scrolling because something about it feels distant and unrelatable?

Yeah, that's the number one ick on Instagram right now.

The perfect expert vibes. Perfect tips, perfect tone, perfect designs, perfect photos. And I hate to be the one to break it to you, but all that perfection? It's perfectly forgettable.

In today's Instagram world for service-based solopreneurs, connection is beating perfection every single day of the week. That pedestal energy where you're positioned as the flawless expert who has it all figured out? It's feeling very distant to your audience and very hard to relate to.

Before we dive in, grab my Instagram Analytics Tracker for $19. It includes the spreadsheet and a full video showing you exactly how to track what's connecting with your audience. Because measuring comments, saves, and shares (not just likes) is going to be your best friend for implementing what I'm sharing today.

🎭 Confession: I'm Still Working On This Too

Here's me being really real with you. I have always said that I treat my grid on Instagram like a polished storefront and my stories and newsletter like a dressing room inside my store where you come in and see the more real me.

I have not fully switched over yet to this more vulnerable, human-first approach on my grid. And honestly? I probably never will completely.

My grid still looks pretty put together because I love visuals. I'm a very visual person and I love designing in Canva, and I want to keep doing that. But I'm also gearing up to bring more of my story energy, that honesty and vulnerability, into my feed. I just need to be brave enough to do it.

I'm working on a line for myself that I keep coming back to: My grid will show more work in progress, not just the perfect posts. Human first, expert second, while keeping the visuals cohesive enough that you'll still recognize me at a glance.

So if you're reading this thinking "but Emily, your feed looks so polished," you're right. And I'm working on it too. We're figuring this out together.

🚫 Why Perfect Expert Energy Is Flopping

There are three quick reasons why this polished, perfect vibe is really underperforming right now:

Distance kills conversion. When I feel preached at, or the person talking to me feels unattainable or so polished, I just don't connect. I scroll past as fast as I can. You're not building trust when you're on a pedestal.

Perfection delays posting. If everything has to be flawless, you're going to post less. Which means fewer reps, fewer posts, and fewer chances to collect data and connect with your audience. Consistency beats perfection every time.

Polish without personality equals sameness. Tidy visuals are not a differentiator anymore. Everyone has access to Canva and beautiful templates. Your point of view, your story, your energy? That's what actually makes you memorable.

📊 The Posts That Proved Me Wrong

Let me share four posts I created in the last six months that really stood out as me leaning into this connection-first approach. These weren't my most polished posts, but they were my most engaging.

Post #1: The Messy Real Story

My headline was raw and real: "I lost my sh*t on one of my kids a few weeks ago, like legit hurt my throat from yelling, and then the second the door closed behind them, I felt sick."

This was a carousel with behind-the-scenes photos (not perfectly branded at all). It was me looking down at my phone with my son holding onto me from behind. My mom took the picture without me knowing.

The results: 468 likes, 139 comments, 26 saves, 9 shares.

This wasn't a growth post. People weren't going to start following me from this. But it was an authority and trust-building post that incited really deep comments. People felt seen.

Post #2: The Bold, Perplexing Headline

The headline was just six words: "I don't wanna post here anymore."

That's it. That's all I said on the cover slide.

The results: 190 likes, 122 saves, 110 comments, 26 shares.

It was this confessional hook that drove curiosity. People either related immediately ("same, I don't want to post here either") or they were intrigued ("what's she going to say?").

Post #3: The Confessional Curious Post

My headline: "There's a solid week each month where I can barely complete a sentence, let alone come up with post ideas as a menstruating female solopreneur."

Very bold. Very confessional. And it piqued curiosity because my ideal client is probably a menstruating female business owner who immediately thought "whoa, what's this about?"

The results: 302 likes, 140 comments, 49 saves, 17 shares.

Post #4: The Truth-Forward Headline

"I just kicked 1,187 people off my email list. Here's why it might be the best thing I've ever done."

The results: 439 likes, 161 comments, 146 saves, 9 shares. Super high saves, which signals high value.

The pattern here? When the hook sounds more real and more human, and the lesson is honest and comes from the heart, the comments and saves spike. Polish or not when it comes to design.

Want to see these posts in action? I'm linking all four connection-first examples so you can study exactly what this shift looks like. Check out the resources section below for the links.

🧰 The Connection First Kit

Think of this as a simple kit you can reuse when making any post on social media. Grab a piece of paper because you're going to want to write these down.

1. Hooks That Interrupt the Scroll

Intrigue first, clarity second. I know that sounds ridiculous. I've had to work so hard on wrapping my brain around this because I want to be clear. I just want to say exactly what I'm providing you with. "Five steps to creating better designs in Canva," right?

But those headlines are not doing well. I need to intrigue people first.

Try these hook styles:

Confessional: "I almost quit posting here"

Spicy: "This sh*t finally worked" (asterisk optional based on your brand)

Curious or Contrarian: "I stopped optimizing and my posts did 5x better"

Gap-Opening: "Everyone told me to do X. I did Y. Here's what happened."

The key: Always pay off the intrigue on the very next slide or sentence so people feel respected, not baited. I really hate the feeling of hook-baiting somebody. The next slide should explain what you're talking about so they know they're in the right place.

2. Expert-Second Framing

You want to sit on the same side as your audience. Here's a quick flow of what that looks like:

• Here's what I used to do

• Here's what I do now

• Here's why it works

• Try this today (one small action)

This positioning says "I've been there, I am with you, I've probably been doing this thing wrong just like you, and let me teach you what I learned." You're not perfect. You didn't start doing this perfectly from the start. You're just here to share what you've discovered.

3. Vulnerability Guardrails

I want you to be brave, not reckless here. You're sharing scars, not open wounds.

You're not getting on Instagram talking about something that's still very raw and real, where you're in the depths and don't see the other side yet. That's uncomfortable for most people to watch.

A quick check:

• Is it connected to a bigger lesson you can share?

• Does it protect your family and clients?

• Are you sharing the learning more than the spiral?

That post about my son? I talked about it a week later, not that minute when things were still feeling really raw. It was a scar with a lesson attached.

4. Casual But Cohesive Visuals

Keep a recognizable look while relaxing your tone. Here's how:

Use Instagram-provided fonts that you're slapping on top of pictures inside your stories, then save and post as a carousel.

Try the legibility trick: Add a subtle darkening filter over your images and always use white font on top, or put a background underneath the font (black font, white background) for clean contrast.

Design in your Notes app: Type something out, take a screenshot, and use that as a post. So casual, so relatable, and it's connecting with people right now.

Find signature messy elements: A hand-drawn underline, sticky notes, circled screenshots. Something repeatable that keeps it human but still intentional.

I'm including my favorite darkening filter in the resources below. You'll need to open it on your phone to save it, but it's a game-changer for making casual content look cohesive.

5. Measure Connection, Not Polish

Use your Instagram analytics to track what's getting comments, saves, shares, and follows. Data is your very best friend for figuring out what's working with your content strategy.

I have a recurring calendar alert on the 30th of every month that says "gather your data and put it into your spreadsheet." This is how I discovered that my casual, vulnerable posts were outperforming my perfectly designed content.

Seriously, if you're not tracking this, grab my Instagram Analytics Tracker. It's $19 and includes the actual spreadsheet plus a video showing you exactly what I'm looking for, how often I do it, where to find it, and how I fill it out.

✏️ Before and After Headline Makeovers

Let me show you how to transform boring, polished headlines into compelling, human ones across different industries:

Leadership Coach

• Before: "Five ways to be a better leader"

• After: "I led perfectly for years. My team still felt distant. Here's what finally changed it."

Runner's Nutrition Coach

• Before: "Exact macros for female marathoners"

• After: "I fuel like a runner who has a busy nine-to-five job, young kids, and a social life. The plan that survived my real Tuesday."

Pilates Studio Owner

• Before: "Sculpt your core in 30 days"

• After: "The midlife muffin top shows up when stress does. Here's the 15-minute sequence I actually do at home."

Real Estate Agent

• Before: "How to win a bidding war"

• After: "I told three buyers to walk away last month. Here's why it saved them money and their sanity."

Therapist

• Before: "How to set boundaries"

• After: "The boundary I was scared to set, and the seven words that finally changed everything for me."

See the difference? You go from polished promise to personal truth with practical payoff.

📝 7 Connection-Style Posts to Try This Month

Here are seven post concepts you can sprinkle into your content over the next couple of weeks:

1. Confession and Lesson: One thing you used to do or believe, what changed, and your new rule of thumb.

2. The Process Peak: The messy middle on purpose. A screenshot, a scribble, a draft with one sentence of context like "This is how I decided to X" or "This was the moment I X."

3. Small Failure, Tiny Fix: Share a recent miss and one tweak that helped you overcome it. So tangible, so easy to walk away with value.

4. A Spicy Take: A polite but bold rule you broke and why it worked better. (Asterisk in the curse word optional based on your brand.)

5. Client Mirror: Highlight a relatable client detail like "midlife energy," "neuro-spicy brain vibes," or "busy parent" and share a tiny win.

6. "I Almost" Post: "I almost quit this," "I almost deleted this," "I almost kept pretending this." Then pay it off with a valuable insight that makes your ideal client feel seen.

7. Two Truths and One Tweak: Two things you're keeping, one thing you're changing this quarter or month, and invite your audience to share theirs.

Anytime you invite your audience in to give their perspective or feedback, they're so there for it. They want to participate.

Ready to practice these with feedback and support? Join the Content Coven where we workshop posts like this together, test human-first content, and give each other feedback in a friendly, supportive space.

⚠️ Common Traps to Avoid

Performative vulnerability: There's no takeaway, it's like a diary entry, and I'm uncomfortable. Don't post it, especially if there's no lesson.

Intrigue with no payoff: That's bait-y. Earn the stop with the hook, but earn the trust with the explanation that comes right after.

Throwing out all your systems: We're relaxing our tone. We're not abandoning our branding, templates, and brand vibe. You can be human and cohesive at the same time.

Shame language: Spice the take, not the audience. We don't want to be shaming our audience or anyone else trying to make a living.

📚 Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode

• My fave Instagram Analytics Tracker ($19)—includes video tutorial on exactly how to track what's working

• Subtle darkening filter for Instagram carousels (mobile link must be opened on a mobile to load)

• Trending Carousel Tutorial Reel - How to make casual, relatable carousels directly in Instagram Stories

💫 Let's Figure This Out Together

Connection is going to beat perfection all day long. I'm gearing up to bring more story energy to my feed, and I'd love for you to join me in this shift.

Try a couple of the seven connection-style posts this month. Create one in your Instagram Stories. Write it out in your Notes app. Darken that image, use the white font, and say the honest thing.

And if you want support practicing this in a friendly, feedback-heavy space? Come join the Content Coven. It's where we workshop stuff like this together. Your hooks, your posts, your visuals. You can share a post in the community and get feedback, or bring your Instagram to a Q&A call and I'll look at it with you.

You'll get prompts, feedback, and gentle accountability so you actually keep posting. The doors are open, and I'd love to have you.

Listen to the full episode POD41 for all the details on the Connection First Kit, the seven post types, and my complete visual strategy for staying cohesive while getting real.

I'm cheering you (and me) on in this one.

Em xx