44: Botox, Burnout & the Real Reason No One Was Engaging With My Content

😰 When Your Business Struggles Make You Question Everything About Yourself

Have you ever been in such a dark place with your business that you started looking for anything you could control? When the algorithm shifts and your engagement tanks, it's easy to start questioning everything. Your content strategy, your messaging, your entire business model. And if you're really struggling, you might even start questioning yourself.

Last August, my Instagram engagement dropped so dramatically that I panicked and booked a Botox appointment. I went from reels regularly hitting 50,000 to 75,000 views down to barely 3,000. My likes dropped from hundreds to about 40 on a good day. That's one-eighth of the engagement I was used to seeing, and as the main earner for my family, it terrified me.

So I tried to fix my face, thinking maybe if I looked younger or felt better about my appearance, I'd show up more confidently and my numbers would recover. Spoiler alert: the marketing math didn't math. But what I learned about showing up authentically changed everything about how I approach visibility in my business.

Before we dive into my Botox story, comment "POD43" below and I'll send you the exact smoothing filter I use in every story and reel, plus my favorite resource for getting your colors done. These are the tools that actually help me show up confidently without changing who I am.

💔 The Burnout Breakdown That Led to a Dermatologist's Chair

Let me set the scene for you. August 2024. I was in what I can only describe as a very dark place. I'd hit a serious wall with my business. The Instagram algorithm had shifted dramatically starting in spring 2023, and by summer 2024, I was experiencing full-on burnout.

I took two weeks completely off Instagram, something I'd never done before. I hired a therapist slash business coach for a significant amount of money because I was desperate for some peace. My husband was concerned because I was crying frequently. My entire identity had become wrapped up in my Instagram engagement, or more accurately, my lack thereof.

When you're the main earner for your family and your income depends on your visibility online, watching your numbers tank feels like watching your livelihood disappear. I told myself I'd done something wrong. I felt like an imposter. Here I was, teaching people how to show up and grow on Instagram, and my engagement looked terrible.

Because I couldn't control the algorithm, I tried to control something else. My face.

I went into that dermatologist appointment thinking I'd get a little Botox between my eyebrows. Maybe something for the smile lines that seemed so much deeper than other women my age. But sitting in that chair, feeling desperate and defeated, I gave the doctor free range to make me look ten years younger.

What followed was one of the most painful experiences I've had. Botox and filler everywhere. Around my eyes, my nose, my smile lines, my jaw, my chin. The filler snapped, crackled, and popped going into my muscle. I had a pounding headache on the left side of my face for days. My eyebrow drooped. My eyes looked smaller. I couldn't move my face the way I normally did.

I sat in that chair thinking the same thing I thought during my last childbirth: I'm never doing this again.

🚗 The Moment Everything Changed

About a week and a half later, I was driving my kids to practice. My son asked from the backseat, "Mom, can you raise just one eyebrow?"

You need to know this was my party trick. Since high school, I've been able to raise both eyebrows independently. Up, down, up, down. My son had inherited this ability and wanted to see me do it.

I tried. Nothing moved. My stomach dropped.

I couldn't do this silly thing that had always been uniquely mine, this trait I'd passed down to my son, this expression that was part of how I communicate. In that moment, sitting in my car unable to explain to my kids why my face wouldn't move, I decided: I am never changing my face again.

Not because cosmetic procedures are morally wrong. Not because I'm judging anyone who loves Botox. But because I lost something I loved about myself. My facial expressions have always been part of who I am. People have told me since childhood that my face is so expressive. That's part of my brand, part of how I connect with my audience, part of how I communicate with my own children.

And I'd traded it for a frozen, screenshot version of myself that I didn't even recognize.

📊 Lesson One: The Marketing Math Doesn't Math

Here's what I need you to understand. I changed my face, and my numbers didn't move at all.

My comments didn't suddenly revive. My views didn't multiply. My saves didn't triple. The thing that eventually started to shift my engagement wasn't cosmetic. It was clarity. When I came back to the work I actually love doing and recommitted to my business with renewed purpose, everything began to feel better.

The fix wasn't Botox. The fix was therapy, coaching, and getting clear on my strategy again.

This is so important for service-based solopreneurs to understand. When your business feels broken, your first instinct is often to fix the most immediate, controllable thing. Your graphics. Your posting schedule. Your appearance. But those surface-level changes rarely address the actual problem.

My engagement dip was real. Going from 50,000 average views down to 3,000 hurt. Dropping from hundreds of likes to 40 was painful. I'm not pretending that didn't happen or that it was easy. But trying to control my appearance when I couldn't control the algorithm didn't solve anything.

Ready to focus on what actually moves the needle in your business? Comment "POD43" and let's talk about the internal work that creates external results.

🪞 Lesson Two: Acceptance vs. Neglect (And Why It Matters for Your Visibility)

I got Botox because I was feeling ashamed. The burnout plus the shame created what I call a spicy mix that made visibility feel dangerous.

When you're in that headspace, you look at your own face and think, "If I looked different, if I sounded different, if I were ten pounds lighter or ten years younger, THEN I could show up confidently." And you pause your marketing while you negotiate with your reflection.

That's not okay.

I want to draw a hard line between acceptance and neglect. Acceptance is not giving up on yourself. Acceptance is choosing presence over perfection every single day. Acceptance is saying, "I'm going to show up consistently, but I'm not disappearing until I look like a filtered statue of myself."

You're allowed to be seen as a work in progress while you're working toward your goals.

I once asked my audience in a carousel post: "Do you judge women who show up on Instagram without makeup?" The comments exploded. The overwhelming answer was no. People want connection. They want your eyes, your smile, your lines, your expressions. The very things my frozen brows temporarily took away from me.

And listen, I want to be explicit about something. I use a smoothing filter in my stories and reels. I have wrinkles. I'm 44 years old, turning 45 in April. I have lines. I have acne scarring from adult acne struggles that lasted most of my life. My chin has been a battleground.

That smoothing filter helps me get on camera without overthinking how I look. It allows me to show up without a second thought, and that's what I need to create content consistently. I don't want to waste my energy analyzing my appearance and bashing myself.

The difference is intent. The intent is to show up, not to hide. The filter is a supportive tool. The Botox felt like I was trying to become someone else entirely.

🎯 Lesson Three: Your Face Is Your Brand Asset (But Not For the Reason You Think)

In 2024 and beyond, connection beats anonymity every single time. You are the differentiator in your business. People hire the person, not just the service.

Your face is part of your brand asset, but not because of its symmetry or perfection. Your face matters because of recognition, trust, and those micro expressions that pull people in and make them feel understood.

Your visuals speak before your caption does. The most trustworthy visual in a service-based business is your actual, perfectly human face.

That car moment with my son asking about the eyebrow trick taught me something crucial. If something takes you away from yourself, it's not for you. In business, when I follow strategies that pull me away from my voice or my values, I can't sustain them. The same principle applied to my face.

What you see is what you get. My husband adores me. My kids love me. They didn't even notice the Botox until I couldn't do our shared party trick anymore.

People buy services because they believe you understand their problem, you have a path they can follow, and you feel like a safe guide. Your face communicates all three of these things faster than any caption ever could. Your micro expressions signal empathy. Your tone signals safety. Your consistency signals reliability.

The more you show up as yourself, the easier it is for the right clients to say, "I trust her."

✅ Your Practical Checklist for Showing Up Confidently on Camera

If you're thinking, "Okay Emily, but how do I actually show up without feeling terrible about how I look?" I've got you covered. Here's my simple checklist for camera confidence:

01. Get Your Colors Done by Created Colorful

This is probably not what you expected me to say first, but hear me out. I had my colors done and it changed everything. I know exactly what colors make me look radiant and beautiful, and exactly which ones make me look like a ghost. Since having this done, my confidence has soared. My family literally asks me to change when I wear black now because it's such a horrible color for me. Comment "POD43" and I'll send you the service I used.

02. Find Natural Light

This single change will make you look your best on camera without any other adjustments. Natural light is forgiving, flattering, and free. Position yourself facing a window and watch the difference.

03. Use My Fave Smoothing Filter (Zero Shame)

I use the same smoothing filter every single time I record stories or reels. It helps all my content look cohesive and it removes the mental barrier of overthinking my appearance. This is a supportive tool, not a mask. Comment "POD43" for the exact filter I use.

04. Makeup Is Optional

Honestly, I don't worry about makeup anymore. If I have a couple minutes, maybe I'll do my brows and put on some lip color. If not, it is what it is. People are listening to my message more than judging my face. That's the truth.

05. Commit to Forward-Facing Content

Challenge yourself to one forward-facing post at minimum and one forward-facing story at least five days a week. This is non-negotiable for service providers. You need to be seen. Your audience needs to connect with your face, your expressions, your energy.

06. Test and Tweak Your Setup

Watch your stories and reels back. What could you change? Better lighting? A different angle? I see people holding their camera way below their face, looking down at it, and that's not a flattering angle for anyone. Hold your phone at eye level or slightly above. Even that one tweak makes a massive difference.

🎙️ Why This Matters for Your Business (Beyond Vanity)

This isn't really about Botox or aging or appearance standards, even though those are part of the story. This is about what happens when you tie your worth to external metrics you can't control.

When my engagement tanked, I made it mean something about me. I thought if I could just fix myself, fix my face, fix my appearance, then everything else would fall into place. But the algorithm doesn't care what you look like. Your ideal clients don't need you to look ten years younger. They need you to show up consistently, authentically, and helpfully.

The work that actually moved my business forward wasn't cosmetic. It was getting clear on my strategy, reconnecting with my purpose, and showing up even when the numbers felt discouraging.

Your face, exactly as it is right now, is enough. Your expressions, your lines, your unique features are what make you recognizable and trustworthy. In a sea of filtered, polished, perfect content, your authentic humanity is what cuts through the noise.

📚 Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode

Emily's Favorite Smoothing Filter for Instagram Stories/Reels - The exact filter Emily uses in every story and reel to show up confidently without overthinking her appearance (comment "POD43" to get the link)

Color Analysis Service - The service Emily used to determine which colors make her look radiant and confident on camera (comment "POD43" for details)

💪 You're Allowed to Show Up as a Work in Progress

It's been over a year since my Botox experience, and I needed that time for it to become a scar rather than an open wound. The experience felt too raw for too long to share publicly.

But I'm sharing it now because I know so many of you are struggling with the same things I struggled with. The pressure to look perfect. The shame when your numbers drop. The temptation to fix external things when the real work is internal.

If you get Botox and love it, I'm genuinely happy for you. If you don't, I'm here for that too. This isn't about judging anyone's choices. This is about my personal experience and what it taught me about showing up authentically in business.

You don't need to look different to be successful. You don't need to wait until you're "ready" or "perfect" to start showing your face. You need to show up consistently as yourself, expressions and all, and trust that the right people will connect with the real you.

Comment "POD43" below and let's keep this conversation going. I want to hear your experience with showing up on camera. What holds you back? What helps you feel confident? Let's support each other in showing up authentically.

Your face is your brand asset. Not because it's perfect, but because it's yours.

Keep going. Keep showing up. Keep being beautifully, authentically you.

Em xx

Resources & Links mentioned in the episode:

• My go-to Instagram smoothing filter that helps me show up confidently without overthinking how I look (link only works on mobile—check show notes!)

• Created Colorful color analysis to help you discover which colors make you look radiant on camera!

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